It seems you are an overachiever. You take your job way too seriously. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you really need to stop. We get it. You wanted to break records. You succeeded. Why must you continue on this rampage when you already achieved success way back in July? Yes, yes, I know I whined all winter waiting for your arrival. But I was hoping for the old you. The new you is too harsh. Just give it up. And when you go, please take the humidity with you; the two of you have conspired to add 12-16 degrees to the weather via the heat index. [Sigh.] I do love you summer. But somehow we've got to figure out a better way to work together.
It's not just me. Little babies are wearing watermelons to beat the heat. Did you HEAR ME summer?! Babies are WEARING watermelons. (Click here to see them.)
Furthermore, it has come to my attention that a lot of people walk around inside their homes in their underwear to keep cool. That's fine (kind of weird really) as long as no one can see inside their homes. But I can see inside about 30 homes in the building across from me, and when they walk out on their balconies it is hard to ignore. Summer, this is too much for me to bear. I don't want those images seared into my brain. No pun intended.
I can't take it anymore summer. So, you know, stop.
Please.
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