Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter with friends

I spent Easter with a group of six friends. We usually have more friends with us when we get together, but some had to work today, two had to attend driving school, etc. We seven celebrated Easter together, then took some photos at a local park. The young man in the striped shirt is a senior in college, and the others are already working in their professions. The only girl in the photo is married to the young man in the blue shirt. Happy Easter everyone!

Friday, March 29, 2013

Week in review

Here is my week in review:

The 19-year old son of one of my good friends from high school died in a car wreck last Friday night. It's been on my mind all week. I don't really know what we are supposed to do to bear one another's burdens, but I felt like I should try to imagine life in her shoes. And since for her the world has stopped, I thought I should take a few days to stop and acknowledge that the world will never be the same. Pray for RT and her family as they bury her son in a few hours.

It feels like winter here. It feels colder now than it did during the real winter, and I think this is because of the moisture in the air (spring rainy season) coupled with strong winds. So I have not enjoyed getting out much this week. And the sun didn't shine much at all.

The only good grocery store in my neighborhood that had several American products closed down. It was near a massive road construction project, and traffic couldn't get there to keep the store in business. Now I have to go a lot further to buy what I need.

Mimi's morning walk today got halted by the presence of a gorilla-size dog who came out at the same time, unleashed as usual. That big dog looks at Mimi like she's a Big Gulp. I have to pick up Mimi and throw her over my shoulder like a baby and run when I see that dog.

I sent out a newsletter this week. If you didn't get one, write and let me know your e-mail address. Lots of emails bounced, and my own parents didn't even get it (I know for sure I have their email address right; I don't know why it has so much trouble getting through to some people). If you want to leave me your email address on a comment, please know that all comments come to me before they are published (for approval), and I will be careful not to publish any comment that has an email address in it.

Last summer I broke down and got on Facebook. First I got my college friends on, along with a few Colorado friends. I wanted to see how Facebook worked before I committed to use it much. Then a little later I connected with my Australian friends. In the last week, I've finally connected with some of my old hometown friends. Facebook is part wonderful and part weird. For 30 years or more, I didn't know a thing about my old friends...didn't even know if some were dead or alive. And now for some I know the exact spot where they had lunch yesterday! It leaves me with that Twilight Zone kind of feeling. I reserve the right to ignore Facebook at any point in my life when it starts to overwhelm...like it did a few weeks ago.

There you have it, my week in review. Some days are more exciting than others, and this week wasn't really very exciting at all.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Subway fashion

Check out the latest in young men's hair fashion in the Middle Kingdom, as seen on the local subway!

Monday, March 25, 2013

Spring's rainy season


Saturday afternoon after meeting up with my local friends at a teahouse, I walked alone through the cold, slow spring rain. Rainy days are about the only days you can walk along a path and not run into crowds of people, so I walked as slowly as possible, to take it all in without interruption. The pink buds on the trees and the bright green hue of newborn leaves on the trees made the otherwise gray day seem bright and hopeful. 

I thought back to the old days of walking through the rain in the Middle Kingdom … when walking through mud to get to work or biking through potholes of undetermined depth made it more treacherous than inspiring. This is better.

Having grown up in a desert (where, you know, seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day), I usually have mixed feelings about rain and the depressing clouds that accompany it. It's not going away though, so I'm trying to learn to like it.

Our second rainy season comes in mid-summer, during typhoon season.
 

iOSx photos

Friday, March 22, 2013

Invisible people


While the woman waits, the shoe repairman turns her shoe onto his stand and works diligently to repair it. Almost every day of the year, regardless of the weather, he can be found on the sidewalk near the park. He carries his machine and tools back and forth each day to the spot under the trees. 

On this day, the Chinese woman informs him that a foreign woman is taking his photo. He smiles, continues his work and tells her it is no problem because the foreign woman is his friend. I live near his sidewalk shop and pass by on a daily basis. I don't know his name, but I smile, talk to him, and acknowledge his worth as a human being. I think that most people walk by him and don't even notice he is there. Some treat him as if he were less worthy to stand on the planet than they themselves are. He's one of those people on the periphery, the kind of person that we block out of our minds unless we need them to do something for us, like fix our broken shoes. There are others like him in my neighborhood, considered poor on the socio-economic scale of things. The trash collectors, the egg seller, the fish vendor and the guards all come to mind.

There was a time when I probably wouldn't have noticed the shoe repairman either. But these days I make a conscious effort to acknowledge every person I meet, with a goal of making each one feel better about themselves than they did before I crossed their paths. I think that's how Jesus would treat them. They are created in the image of the God who made them. 

I'm reminded of the Chinese ceramic bowl that was purchased at auction last week for 2.2 million dollars. The most recent owner had found the bowl at a garage sale for $3. For a thousand years, the owners had failed to realize the value of the item in their midst. The very thing that was tossed aside and treated as junk turned out to be superbly rare and expensive. 

It's like that with people. We tend to undervalue the very ones who are priceless.

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/19/us-art-chinesebowl-idUSBRE92I17H20130319

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Who are you talking about?

"He lives very austerely. He has no car, he rides the bus or the subway, or walks," says Maria Elena Bergoglio, 65, about her brother Pope Francis. 

The pope and me both.

No mention of the pope-mobile. Or whether he had to walk through spit to get where he was going.

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20683450,00.html

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The calendar's revenge

My calendar says today is the first day of spring. But as if the heavens were laughing out loud, blustery cold air swept into my city today. It is COLD outside. In a mad fit of wishful thinking, I had already stashed my winter stuff away -- but had to drag it back out today.

Pictured: My Tokyo tweed backpack, my Mimi-like fur earmuffs and neck wrap (fake fur, I'm sure, based on the price I paid). Earmuffs and backpacks may not be worn by women my age in America, but when women in America start using a motor bike for their main mode of transportation, I will start to care.

Separated at birth

I'm seeing a similarity here. Is it just me?

One of the above photos is of one of my brothers. In fact, it is his Facebook photo, although I'm not sure that anyone who has never gone on a hunting trip with him before would recognize him in this photo. Perhaps he did that on purpose to maintain his incognito status. (Or maybe he's hoping to be an extra on Duck Dynasty. That would be fun. 'Cause that's a show you need to watch. I fear the beard is way too short for that show though. Thank goodness.) Anyway, the EARS on these two makes for such an uncanny resemblance that I couldn't pass commenting on it. 

If I spot a Chinese false deity that looks like YOU, dear reader, I'll be sure and let you know. So far this is the only resemblance I am aware of.

P.S. This photo was already public. I would not use a photo in this manner if it wasn't.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Calm and beautiful

In case the last post of fireworks left you feeling agitated, here's a sight of beauty to calm your nerves...the lovely and talented Mimi Barkley, age 8, a ray of sunshine if there ever was one. I have trained her to "kiss" me on command (she gives me a sometimes painful nose butt). That's how we entertain all the neighbors. They break into fits of hilarious laughter when she does it. Their dogs don't know any cool tricks.

Fire in the night sky

Warning: Turn your volume down to low before playing this video.

This is the view from my south/southeast facing balcony on Chinese New Year's Eve. The video doesn't really capture the horror of it all, but it's the best I can show you. This is by no means the most fireworks I have ever seen at one time. Yeah, it is even worse than this sometimes. I wish they would ban individual use of fireworks but apparently they are not going to do that in my lifetime.

Video from February 9, 2012. Time: 29 seconds.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Go ahead, tell me what you really think

A little baby I made acquaintance with at the recent wedding....

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Pajama lady

Last October, I told you about people here wearing pajamas in public. I didn't have a photo to show you at the time, because I didn't want to embarrass people here by overtly taking photos of them in their pj's. But the other day I was at the park and finally got a non-invasive, non-blurry shot of a lady wearing hers. Hers are thick white flannel pajamas with pink whales on them. They don't look as much like pajamas as some I've seen, but yes, these are most definitely pajamas. The person behind her is wearing a sweat suit. 

I may or may not have worn my pajamas to walk my dog inside my apartment grounds early one morning last week, but with a heavy winter coat covering them up, who can know for sure?! :-)

Saturday, March 16, 2013

My friend's wedding, part two

Here is my friend, the bride. It is traditional for brides to wear a red qipao (chee-pow: slim-fitting Chinese style dress) for their weddings, though many modern brides rent a white dress for the day or have a change of several outfits. This bride wore black. I didn't expect to see this.
Most weddings have some kind of comedic ceremony prior to the banquet, but if this wedding had one, I somehow missed it. It was suddenly time to eat.
The entire house was filled with tables, saw horses, and wooden tables covered in thin red plastic table cloths.
The bride and I share a group of friends, but none of them were there at the wedding. This confused me. I sat at a table with total strangers, none of whom spoke a lick of  English. They treated me like an old friend though. One woman was a travel agent. She had her grandson with her. At one point she took a plate of rare and delicious pecans, and asked me if I wanted one. When I said no, I meant "not right now." But when she dumped the entire plate of pecans in her handbag to eat later, I realized that I had missed my chance.

They passed around the thermos of hot water as the dishes kept coming one after another. There were probably 20 dishes total, most of them unrecognizable (and I've been in this country a long time, so you would think I had seen it all by now).

Notice the red plastic on the wall behind the men. The hosts are protecting their white walls from food stains. Notice also that everyone is wearing their thick down coats, because the house was really cold inside. I had dressed for a hotel, not a village, so I was shivering from the cold.
I've sat on saw horses in churches here before. Imagine sitting through a two-hour sermon on one of these things.
I actually recognize this dish, but I've never eaten it before in this form. I grew up in a desert and we didn't have much seafood. When I was older and got around seafood, I already had developed a negative opinion towards it. Who wants to eat that ugly thing?

The groom sat at a table with some other guys who were making him miserable. Apparently it is a sport to humiliate the groom on his wedding day. They are trying to make him drunk, and he has to play along or be considered rude. He looked seriously unhappy all day.
The drinking games are noisy. 
The entryway had beautiful traditional furniture. It also had thin red carpet to keep the floors protected from the guests.
            
Each guest was given a heart-shaped box with little wrapped chocolate candy pieces. I was glad for the calories, because I didn't get enough from the expensive, unfamiliar food on our table.

While they were still bringing dishes to the table, my ride announced that the wedding was over and it was time to go. Fine with me. We walked out of the village home towards the car, and on the way saw two other mansions packed with people and decorated for the wedding. They had used three homes for the wedding party. 

And then, I about fell over in shock when I found out that today was DAY #5 of the wedding! Today had the most people (by a little), but this was the fifth day of wedding banquets. Maybe our group of friends had attended on another day? Is this why there was no lighthearted ceremony? Is this why the bride wore black (she wore different clothes each day, I found out). 

They must have fed over 1000 people in the past five days. I can't imagine even wanting to do something like this unless it was a hunger relief project or something. I've never understood the desire for big weddings. In any country.

I had a wedding gift in my bag, but forgot to give it to the bride before I left. I sent her a message a few days ago telling her I had something to give her. She said she had just returned from a trip to Thailand (honeymoon, I presume). 

Well, there you have it! All weddings are different. I've never been to one quite like this one before, and probably never will again. So glad I saw this one.

Friday, March 15, 2013

A friend's wedding, part one

I was invited to a wedding a few weeks ago. A friend of mine called me on a Sunday afternoon and invited me to her wedding the following weekend. I didn't know she had a boyfriend (none of the others in her group of friends knew either). So we were surprised. But it is not a surprise that we were surprised. People around here keep things to themselves. Even big things like that.

Since the wedding would be in her hometown an hour away, and she didn't want me to suffer on the public bus that would manage to make the one-hour car trip into 2-3 hour bus ride, she arranged a ride for me with one of her friends. 

I was worried her friend would drive too fast. He didn't drive fast, but he did stop in the middle of a highway a couple of times -- even backing up once -- because he wasn't sure which exit to take. Nearly had a heart attack when he did that!

I expected the ceremony to be held in a hotel like most of them are. There are two broad categories of weddings. City weddings held in hotel banquet halls and village weddings held in the home village. I was surprised when we drove into a neighborhood that looked like this.

Turns out, this is the girl's home "village." It was a village wedding.
Here is the gate to her village. The two "scientists" (one an engineer, one a lab worker) with whom I rode to the event are about to enter. 

 Here's the view from the front gate.

The big black cauldrons sat outside the front gate. The multipurpose food cookers/glove warmers look a little out of place in the fancy neighborhood. Looks a bit Granny Clampett-like. Made me smile.
I hate the mere sight of these firecracker strings. It portends future discomfort for my ears.

Water sloshed all over the entry walkway is a clue that despite the luxurious exterior, this really is a village. I found out that the government took the valuable land these farmers owned and in exchange built them these huge houses. Made of concrete with no insulation, the houses are just big empty concrete vaults. The furnishings inside are generally not up to the same standard as the house. Look how closely together this concrete mansion is to the next door neighbor's. You may or may not be able to put a 12-inch ruler between the two.

This kitchen is right by the main gate ... not inside the house itself. In Chinese villages, it is typical to have the kitchen separate from the main house. And to leave the energy efficiency sticker on the refrigerator forever.
When I got inside the house, the bride's mother decided I should walk up to the third floor to see the bride's bedroom. I'm not sure why that was so important. Maybe because I was the only foreigner at the wedding, I would be less of a distraction tucked away on the upper floor.

So here's the bride's bedroom. The bedding is a gift (probably from the groom's family to the bride, I'm not sure). Those big dolls wouldn't likely be a part of an American wedding. 
Here are a few cold dishes that would be served during the wedding feast. There were 40 tables with six people each, or so I was told. I didn't actually count.
This is the room on the 3rd floor where the bride and groom's parents would eat the wedding banquet separate from the other guests. The furniture in this room was exquisite and expensive. The rest of us sat on saw horses. After all, this is a village wedding, and no one expected them to have 240 individual chairs for their guests.

The symbol for double happiness was cut out of red paper and pasted on the windows. Double happiness signifies a wedding.
On the third floor was a living room area where some women and children waited for the festivities to start. They watched Winnie the Pooh or some such program on the flat-screen TV up there near the bride's bedroom.
Here are photos of the bride and groom in hard-bound photo books that they had published prior to the wedding. These wedding photo shoots remind me of Glamour Shots, because the photographs look nothing like the actual people. When I finally met the groom, I didn't recognize him -- except for the build, he looked totally different than this photo of him. He had eyeglasses, a different hairdo, and different clothes as you might imagine. The clothes used for the photo shoot are borrowed from the photographer. The bride does not have a white dress for her wedding, it's all for the photos.

I'll tell you the rest in part two, coming soon.