When shopping isn't fun

Shopping is fun in America, but not so much here.

First, let's consider my transportation options. Buses are out. You can't carry many groceries on a crowded bus, nor can you carry them from the bus stop back to your home. 

Taxis are hard to find most of the time, so they are not reliable. Imagine buying 3-4 humongous heavy bags of groceries, then standing by the side of the road unable to flag down a taxi. It is not an enviable position to be in. Trust me. Been there.

Bicycles don't hold much. They also don't do well on hills.

Fortunately, I have my very own e-bike that holds more, and is more reliable than a taxi (see photo above).

In the winter, the e-bike is miserable to ride. You kick up a wind that doubles as a self-inflicted wind-chill factor. Don't even get me started on RAINY SEASON, which is all the time here in Seattle Bamboo Forest. Sometimes it is better to do without groceries. Starve or whatever if you must.

You definitely should not buy toilet paper or other bulky items that will not fit on the e-bike. If you are lucky, there will be a tiny convenience store much closer to your home that will sell it. I buy Diet Cokes and toilet paper at a nearby convenience store. Yep, I get weird looks, as if they think those are the only two items a foreign girl needs.

There is no payment by foreign credit card or check at the grocery store, just cash. So be sure to stand in line at the ATM for half an hour before going in to buy groceries. 


While in line, pray that the over-eager fraud protection banker in America bucking for a promotion hasn't put a freeze on your account because he/she thinks your credit card was stolen by some Asian gang and taken from East Texas to Asia and you haven't noticed. If that happens, you won't get money from the ATM, you won't buy groceries that day, and you'll have to return home where you probably won't be able to get a long-distance connection to a real person at the bank who can unfreeze your account. Pray you have friends who can feed you for a few days in this case.

As you go back to your apartment after buying groceries, your e-bike will be stacked like Granny Clampett sitting atop a moving truck in her rocking chair (see photo above). You will walk bow-legged for 3-4 days, but don't worry, those legs of yours will certainly straighten out in time for your next trip to the store!

Inside the store, I kid you not, is a circus. People ram their grocery carts into your backside and seriously think nothing of it. If you get frustrated with this, just bump your cart back into them...they won't even turn around to glare at you. They won't even notice! Not that I would do that or anything. It's a bumper car free-for-all in these crowded Super-Wal-Mart-like stores. When I first moved to Bamboo Forest (where it is the WORST), I used to come back from grocery shopping so rattled that I had to take a nap for an hour or two to decompress from the stress. Yeah, I know I'm from Texas and all, but that is no exaggeration. I don't suffer now as much as I used to, but I think it's because I go in with very low expectations, sedatives and no other appointments for the rest of the day. :-)

Ten years ago, shopping was cheap here, but not any more. Except for vegetables at the outdoor market, I pay as much or more for things than you do in America. I'm just glad that the sales tax is already included in the price, and is not added on at the cash register here. Here you know exactly how much you're going to have to pay.

When I go back to America, I don't even know how to act when I go shopping. I suspect some re-calibration will be required so I won't resort to the aggressive survival tactics I've learned here. But if you think you see me ram my grocery cart into someone at Wal-Mart when I'm in the USA this summer, please do not assume it is me, because it is probably just my evil twin that was separated from me at birth. 'Cause I don't do that.