House Hunting in a Far-Off Land

Part One

You probably will agree with me that house hunting is a stressful activity. You have to consider price, style, cost, size, location, and a whole slew of things. Add to this the need to do all your negotiating in a foreign language, a really hard foreign language like say CHINESE, and ... well, let's just say you will want to start off the process with low blood pressure, because it is likely to rise while you are house hunting.

I found a decent apartment last week. Unlike most places I've seen, it has a nice kitchen (see photo above). Although you can't see clearly what's under the ventilation hood because a sliding glass door is in the way, I will tell you what is under it. NOTHING!!! You might expect to see stove burners under a stove hood, but that would be YOUR way of thinking. I pointed out this problem to the real estate agents, and they tried to make it sound normal.

I shouldn't have been shocked to find that in the bathroom shower stall, there are no water faucets for actually taking a shower. (What? I should pour buckets of water over myself.)

Alarmingly, there is no method of heating hot water for the kitchen or bathroom. Wow, cold showers! Fun!

Most shocking is the fact that this, so far, is the top-rated apartment on my list. Obviously, some things have got to change before I sign on the dotted line. I'll keep you posted.

Part Two

The organization I work for has rules limiting the size of apartments their employees should have. They also have rules that say we should live in unfurnished apartments (i.e. we should furnish them ourselves). On a worldwide level, this is an equitable arrangement, and should make for a cheaper rental fee. It sounds really good on paper.

But I live in a place where the rules don't fit. In a city of many millions of people, and with eight real estate agents working on it, I have found a sum total of ZERO apartments that are unfurnished.

My real estate agents call and say, "I found a place that is unfurnished." We get there and it is full of furniture. The agent says, "I'm sure the landlord will move it out." The landlord refuses. They can't afford to put it into storage. A wasted trip for me. This has happened at least 15 times, probably more. I lost count.

Some landlords propose that I use my furniture and theirs together, simultaneously, as if my goal in life is to live in a storage room, serving their needs at my expense. "Hmm, yes I think I will put my sofa on top of your sofa, a double decker!" One guy says I can just take his two king-size mattresses and stand them up along the wall for 2-3 years. Ah, yeah, well, not quite my idea of stylish decorating. (The bad news is that this place currently ranks second on my list.)

One couple suggested I sell all my furniture so I can use theirs. (This would be different than what my company wants, but I can't really explain this to the landlords.) I alternately suggest that the landlords sell their own furniture since I plan to stay there a long time. They look at me like I am an idiot. "We can't sell our furniture! It is too hard and there is not enough time!"

Uh, hello! You are natives of this city, know where all the furniture markets are, speak the language fluently and won't get cheated for being a white-skinned foreigner. It's too hard for you, but you think I CAN DO IT?!!!

Part Three

The very largest apartment I could rent is 148 square meters. I usually have one about 130 square meters. I tell the real estate agent my limit.

She takes me to an apartment that is 160 square meters (and has furniture). I got there, saw the size, and told her it was too big. She said it was the slightly cheaper than the one we saw the other day that was the smaller size. I said my company had rules about size. She looked at me like I was crazy. What company would not want to save money? A bad one obviously. How could I tell her that avoiding the appearance of ostentatious wealth was valued by my company; monetary values are certainly to be considered, but they are not the only values in the world. But she wouldn't understand this.

She suggests we lie about the size of the apartment on the contract. Well, I know she is trying to help me out, but you know, I'm thinking that lying to my organization is not an idea that was hatched on holy ground. I told her that people in my company could take one look at the apartment and know it was too big, and if their eyes failed them, they knew how to use a tape measure.

The next day she took me to see another apartment. It was 178 square meters. Obviously my real estate agent and I are having some disconnect. I'm not using her anymore.

Summary

Take a cold shower! Own your own furniture storage business! You don't need to eat! Rent a mansion!

Sometimes I don't know if I should laugh or cry. So far the chuckles are winning out, but I don't know how much longer that will last.

Desperate Housewife

In the last post, I mentioned that my parents (particularly my mom) might not like some of the photos. The good news is that if you withhold pictures of yourself from your parents long enough, they will like anything. My mom had been so desperate to see what I looked like that she said she liked them all! Go figure.

Did anyone notice that in the four photos directly below this post, Mimi and I have our heads tilted the exact same way? Mimi and I ... we are two peas in a pod.

Pulling My Hair Out*

I'm pulling my hair out because a few days ago, my landlord told me I have 30 days to find a new apartment and move out, and I live in a country where that is not easy to do. This is made more difficult by (a) a cold, (b) guilt over not having sent out the newsletter that I told you would be sent out by now, and (c) a visitor. It is not nice to do much apartment viewing with visitors in town. (Did I mention that my visitor speaks only Mandarin?)

So, here I am pulling my hair out (visual effect). If you don't like that look, as I'm quite sure my parents will not, you can view the PEACEful me below.

I'm guessing my parents are not too thrilled with this mod photo of me either. After all this time of waiting for me to post a photo, this is what they get. (No Ma, I know I'm not 20-something years old anymore, but I often hang out with people who are!)

I hope this will do. It is so hard to be serious when you are taking photos of yourself. Mimi hasn't learned photography yet, so you have to deal with what I can do myself, I'm afraid.

My newsletter is delayed by these unplanned events. Sorry.

*Actually, just kidding, no need for me to pull my hair out, I just need divine intervention. Really now, your prayers for me to find a good apartment in a timely manner would be very much appreciated. I want the place that He has in mind. Right now I really can't find a thing.

Miss Smarty Pants

Last night I was having dinner with friends, and the topic of my dog Mimi came up. I mentioned that dogs can be humiliated if they look bad (say, for example, they get a buzz haircut and people laugh at and ridicule them). I told my friends that Mimi can tell when other dogs have been to the groomer, feels jealous of this, and afterwards patiently lets me give her a shampoo/cut/blowdry without moving a muscle so she too can be a pretty dog in the neighborhood.

My friends didn't say what they were probably thinking, "this crazy dog-loving lady has a screw loose." (That's why they call them "friends," they don't insult you to your face.) I would have thought the same in my pre-Mimi years of life.

Today I read an article about dogs on the internet. It says that dogs have the general smarts of a 2-year old child, would trump a 3 or 4-year old child in mathematics, and have the socialization skills of a teenager. And what teenager doesn't compare their clothes and grooming to another teenager! See, I was right!

If you want to read the entire article, cut and paste this link in your web browser: http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090808/sc_livescience/dogsassmartas2yearoldkids

Meems has an amazing rubbery, stretchy neck that can contort (see photo above). I don't understand it, but I'm thinking of selling her to a circus. (Hahaha, no way, just kidding. How much do you think they would pay?)

Wanna Play Catch?

I have always said that the double decker buses along Hong Kong's Nathan Road are so close to each other that while stopped at traffic lights, passengers from different buses, if they wanted to, could swap recipes. I stand by that observation.

Along that same line of reasoning, if I had a baseball glove, and the boaters on the Grand Canal did too, we could play catch while I am standing on the banks of the Grand Canal. I took this photo from the banks, and I do not (yet) have a zoom lens. We were that close.

It was 100*F that day, and of course I went out at noon. This bright time of day is a bad time to take pictures, which is why these aren't the greatest, but I might as well show them to you anyway, no?

While I currently have a fascination with all things "Grand Canal-ish," there are other interesting things to see around town.

I love the architectural style of the black tile roofs and white walls in this city.

I love the canals and waterways that criss-cross this area. There is water everywhere!

This sunken boat illustrates the notion that one man's trash is another man's (uh, I mean another bird's) treasure. The little bird in the lower right hand corner has found a place of refuge on the wreckage, bless his/her little heart. We always mourn the loss of broken dreams, but some glimmer of goodness always seems to come from it if we look hard enough.

Hong Kong

I'm in Hong Kong right now. I took a few photos on Hong Kong Island today when I was out shopping.

A typhoon (hurricane) is headed our way and may hit tonight, so today it was pretty cloudy and windy, with hard rains off and on.

Hong Kong used to be called a shopper's paradise (probably still is called that). You can find just about everything under the sun in this city. If you don't have lots of money, you can shop at markets like the one pictured above. Or,......if your wallet is loaded, you can shop at the posh department stores and designer shops like the ones pictured above. Both styles of shopping are interesting...good places to people watch.
Oooh, baby blue double-decker cable cars...how pretty!

I'm supposed to leave Hong Kong tomorrow, Lord willing and weather permitting. I have to go to the airport one way or the other, but I have a feeling I may end up reading a book and drinking coffee there for the better part of the day. I had to come out to HK for visa purposes. I'll be glad to get back to my own place and to Mimi. Besides, my feet hurt from walking so much.

For those waiting for the newsletter I promised to have sent out "within the week," I may be a little late due to travels. Sorry about that.