Tomb Sweeping Festival

Picnics, mountain climbing and visiting graves -- that's what Chinese people are doing during their three-day Qing Ming (also spelled as "Ching Ming") Festival that runs April 4-6 this year. April 4 is the actual day of the festival (this year) and the other days are tacked on to give people a little time off work to travel or enjoy the spring weather.

The main purpose of the festival is to visit the graves of any family members who have passed away, possibly including parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Chinese people leave plates of cooked food (with chopsticks), fruit, milk tea, and even cans of Coke at the graves, believing the deceased will enjoy the meals in the afterlife. Some burn incense, fake paper money, fake cell phones, and all sorts of fake things for the purpose of providing those in the spirit world material comforts. And it is apparently very important to bow at the graves, which is not seen as a cursory performance, but is considered a serious act of worship to the dead relatives.

In fact, Christians who refuse to bow/worship at the grave sites usually cause a huge rift within their families, with bitterness, yelling, and broken relationships ensuing.

A young Chinese man told me that his cousin, a Christian, refused to bow in worship on Qing Ming Festival day. His family therefore considers him, at age 25, the black sheep of the family. The cousin is tough-skinned though and doesn't care much about what his family thinks. He further annoyed his family by getting a job in Japan and finding a Japanese wife (Chinese people do not like Japanese people, not at all, not even a little bit, I'm sorry to say). They've pretty much written him off.

I am always puzzled by Qing Ming practices because most Chinese I have talked to tell me they do not believe in life after death. They believe that when you die, there is nothingness. But at Qing Ming, they worship the spirits of the dead. I believe there is a contradiction here, and I believe most Chinese would agree that they (many of them) have not settled this contradiction in their own hearts and minds. I do not make light of this, because I believe they sincerely struggle to understand. Until they figure out what is what, they continue to cover their bases by continuing the tradition.

No one is expected to go to great lengths to travel to grave sites. For example, a 25-year-old man who has lost his grandparents, but is working in a faraway city, will not be expected to return to his hometown during the Qing Ming Festival. He'll just enjoy a long weekend. But his parents and other family members who still live in his hometown will go visit the grave.

Anyway, I went to a cemetery last weekend, because I heard that people can start visiting the tombs on the weekend before the actual Qing Ming day. After their "duty" is done, they can enjoy their three-days off work a little better. I wanted to see Qing Ming activities for myself.

At the cemetery, there were people selling incense, candles, fake money, fake cell phones, flowers and food (both for laying at the tombs and for the visitors to eat).

Many cemeteries are built on the sides of hills or mountains. I think this is considered to be good "feng shui." People took their picnic lunches to the cemetery. There were a few picnic tables so people could enjoy their outing.

It seems slightly morbid to say so, but it was really quiet and peaceful at the cemetery. I haven't been to such a quiet spot in such a long time! It was beautiful too, with mountain scenery, pink buds on the trees, a pond and birds singing.

People say it always rains on Ching Ming Festival day, as if the heavens were crying for the dead. This year, the rain came a day late, but they are pretty close to being right. Almost every year it rains.

Pictured above is a Christian grave that I ran across. In the background you can see a group that is picnicking. This was the most beautiful grave marker I saw that day, and it was for two men with the same family name, perhaps brothers. The grave marker (the tall one) has a scripture passage from the Bible, John 11:25, Jesus' words from the story of Lazarus: "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies.'"

Amen. And thank God for this beautiful testimony to those who visit this cemetery. 

Afternoon at the coffee shop

Gifts from Mike and his "girlfriend" -- the flowers were from them a while back, the homemade goodies in recycled jars and the wooden goose basket were from today.

I spent the afternoon at a coffee shop talking with a 25-year old young man I first met a few years ago. (He says he is 27 years old, but based on his actual date of birth, he is really 25). Let's call him Mike. Because it wouldn't be cool for me to give you his real name.

Warning: This story doesn't have a plot or anything, I just thought some of you might want a glimpse into everyday life.

Mike, a reserved type, is nice looking, is a mechanical engineer and has a good-paying job. 

Back in December he introduced his girlfriend to me and I quickly discovered they were living together, planning to get married at the end of 2013. He expounded on that today. 

Turns out they are already legally married, and plan to hold their wedding ceremony with invited guests at the end of 2013. (In this country, the act of marriage registration makes the marriage legal, not the ceremony itself as it is in America. Lots of Chinese married couples choose a later wedding date after they are registered.) 

I don't know why Mike introduced his wife to me as his girlfriend in December though. Why not just say "this is my wife?"

Mike's wife only had one week off for Chinese New Year, so she's back at work this week. Mike himself has three weeks off. He is bored sitting at home out by the quiet lake, so he wanted to visit someone. So he called me up. He wanted to practice his English as much as anything. We met at Starbucks. Fortunately, there are lots of Starbucks in this city; unfortunately, we initially went to different ones, postponing our meeting for half an hour or so. 

He brought me some homemade snacks his mom had made. She made sugar-coated peanuts and sesame toffee squares. He and his wife also picked up a souvenir for me while visiting a tourist mountain on their trip home for the New Year. (They drove home for the holidays, because they have a car.) I am so touched -- I feel unworthy that they thought of me during their trip. 

Mike didn't come from money. His parents are poor farmers, growing their own food. His mom has 10 chickens, a cat, an ox and used to have a pig. We looked on Google maps to see where their plot of land is several days' drive to the west of here.

Mike's worldview is so different from mine. For example, he was excited to tell me he had a dream and Einstein was in it. Yep, he dreams about Albert Einstein, the scientist. I can't even imagine having a dream about anything to do with science. Or about anyone with a bad hairdo for that matter.

Mike wishes he could go to England to meet wheelchair-bound scientist Stephen Hawking, and he was carrying a biography of Apple co-founder Steve Jobs with him today. It seems much of the world is in the business of building heroes that have nothing to do with Jesus, though He's the only one who will remain standing when all else fades away. I am so unimpressed with just about everyone else the world tries to sell me on as a hero. But I didn't want to ruin it for Mike, so I just winced smiled as he talked about them.

Deep down in my heart I had a mental picture of how I hoped our meeting would go today. After discussing deep questions that his soul had pondered since my Christmas party, Mike would drop to his knees right there in the middle of the coffee shop, repent (with tears streaming down his face) and become my spiritual brother today. Alas, not today. It didn't even come up. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

After taking an e-bike, subway, bicycle and taxi for my outing today, I finally returned home. 

I'm kind of chuckling over the fact that a popular 25-year old guy called up someone my age to spend the afternoon with, but it's actually not that unusual. It's one of the things I love about this place. Anything can happen.